Something in men is crying out for brotherhood. Brothers are just as important as fathers in the development and growth of real men. Brothers are peers and helpers, rather than mentors and authorities.

Men need someone in the trenches with them, getting muddy and bloody, sharing the pain and victory alike.

All men need a brother: a man who says, I’ve got your back. A man who will be honest, a man who will come to their aid, to take a bullet for them.

Photo credit:US Army Photo

I’ve found that the men I’ve fought beside in war—even though we come from different backgrounds, different skills, and different lives—we still mesh together to fight and complete a mission. In doing that mission together, day in and day out, living and breathing together, we became brothers.

We used the downtime to learn about each other, we used the busy times to help and teach each other, and we used the trying times to test each other’s loyalty and resolve.

It was through these trying times I learned the most about my “brothers in arms.” What was important to him? Would he abandon his post or his mission? Would he sacrifice for others or for me? Would his ethics and values bend or break? Or would he be loyal to his brothers and to the cause?

The Warrior Ethos

Once, in India, after years on campaign, Alexander’s men threatened to mutiny. They were worn out and wanted to go home. Alexander called an assembly. When the army had gathered, the young king stepped forth and stripped naked,

“These scars on my body,” Alexander declared, “were got for you, my brothers. Every wound, as you see, is in the front. Let that man stand forth from your ranks who has bled more than I, or endured more than I for your sake. Show him to me, and I will yield to your weariness and go home.” Not a man came forward. Instead, a great cheer arose from the army. The men begged their king to forgive them for their want of spirit and pleaded with him only to lead them forward.

excerpt from Steven Pressfield’s book, The Warrior Ethos

Alexander is physically showing his men that he is fighting and bleeding alongside them. Even as a leader, he is showing them that he is sacrificing for them, loyal to them, and willing to spill his blood for the common cause. This is how a true brother should act.

A Band of Brothers

Shakespeare’s rousing St Crispen Day speech from his work Henry V is frequently used as an example of a leader inspiring his men to greatness, not by distancing himself from them, but by including himself in a larger brotherhood.

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

Again, the key to true brotherhood is someone you would shed your blood with. In modern battles, this bond is often formed literally in blood. It doesn’t have to be blood–it could be sweat and tears, or mud and dirt.

Brotherhood can be forged in many fields: Your office, your home, the world of non-profits, or entrepreneurial start-ups.

Men need other men. We were not made as solitary creatures. We need parents, mates, and brothers. We need someone to fight the battles of life with.

Is there someone you would shed blood for? A man, a brother, a compatriot, that you will stick with, no matter what crap comes along? I hope so.

Previous posts in the “Lessons In Military Leadership” series: Don’t Let Your Dream Get Outflanked

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be useful. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”