I have recently been personally challenged about honesty. I’m not saying I have a problem with it, but I am learning the importance of real, RAW honesty. I’m what you might call a very diplomatic and tactful person, but usually this means that I soften the real message that I need to get across to people.
I’m learning that in 99% of the cases, my lack of raw honesty is doing my intended audience a disservice.
(the 1%? It’s when my wife asks how she looks in a new dress… just for those at home keeping score.)
Photo Credit: John/Flikr
In Your Face
I’ve been reading John Eldredge’s new book, Beautiful Outlaw
Honesty in Leadership
I also have read a couple of posts by Ron Edmondson: It’s Not My Job To Make You Happy or 7 Ways to Respond to a Lazy Co-Worker. These posts haven’t changed my thoughts on leadership, but have bolstered my confidence to say what I’m really thinking. If people are seeking to improve and looking for feedback, then a warmed-over, watered-down version of our advice is not what they are looking for.
If someone wants the truth, I’m going to give it to them. Now obviously this will be given with tact and love, but it’s a disservice to not provide honest feedback when required.
The Impact of Honesty
As a discipler, teacher, and coach, I’ve been trying to flex my “raw honesty” muscles a bit more recently. I’ve been surprised at the reaction: not rejection or anger, but appreciation. I think many of us have had enough with generic advice, or pushed-under-the-rug disagreements, and we are ready for more reality and honesty.
Therefore I’ve decided to be more honest. For those relationships that can handle the honesty, I think it’s going to allow for tremendous growth. In those relationships that can’t handle it, I’m determined to improve the relationship to the point where it can.
Honesty has got to be the only policy.
I’m curious… when was the last time you were honest with someone you loved? What reaction did you receive?
It is important to be honest with others. I also think the way we say the honest thing is very important, especially when we are being honest about some one else. Like dealing with a lazy co-worker. Great thoughts Dave.
Thanks Dan. You’re right. Our attitude in being honest is what’s key–we need to say it with a loving heart, with an eye toward improving the person and improving our relationship together…
I like it Dave. Couldn’t agree more and a good challenge!
You got me thinking. It seems like “fear in _____(you fill in the blank)” keeps us from being fully honest with others (for me its “fear of rejection”). Yet, if we are going to that person out of sincere love…the bible says “perfect love drives out all fear”….
This is a great point Stephanie. Fear of rejection effects me too…
We’re all insecure in some way… it’s funny… but it drives so much of what we do (and don’t do!)
True that!
PS- I just put your ad up on my site…thanks for contributing to my site. Hopefully, this ad will help you out with some new traffic!
Thanks Brandon…!
Thank you, Mr. Hearn, for this good post. I’ve been thinking along these lines more recently too. God bless you.
Your welcome Philip, and thank you too… (and you can call me Dave… :^)
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