Honesty is the Only Policy

I have recently been personally challenged about honesty. I’m not saying I have a problem with it, but I am learning the importance of real, RAW honesty. I’m what you might call a very diplomatic and tactful person, but usually this means that I soften the real message that I need to get across to people.

I’m learning that in 99% of the cases, my lack of raw honesty is doing my intended audience a disservice.

(the 1%? It’s when my wife asks how she looks in a new dress… just for those at home keeping score.)
Honesty is the Only Policy - Homeless ManPhoto Credit: John/Flikr

In Your Face

I’ve been reading John Eldredge’s new book, Beautiful Outlaw (Book Review coming soon) where he talks about Jesus’ visit to the Pharisee’s house (Luke 11:37-44). Jesus was invited to eat with a religious leader of the day, but had no problem calling his host out as “full of greed and wickedness.” Talk about railing against the religious spirits of the time! To be that blunt and brutally honest with your host takes some real confidence and I think there’s a lesson to be learned in that.

Honesty in Leadership

I also have read a couple of posts by Ron Edmondson: It’s Not My Job To Make You Happy or 7 Ways to Respond to a Lazy Co-Worker. These posts haven’t changed my thoughts on leadership, but have bolstered my confidence to say what I’m really thinking. If people are seeking to improve and looking for feedback, then a warmed-over, watered-down version of our advice is not what they are looking for.

If someone wants the truth, I’m going to give it to them. Now obviously this will be given with tact and love, but it’s a disservice to not provide honest feedback when required.

The Impact of Honesty

As a discipler, teacher, and coach, I’ve been trying to flex my “raw honesty” muscles a bit more recently. I’ve been surprised at the reaction: not rejection or anger, but appreciation. I think many of us have had enough with generic advice, or pushed-under-the-rug disagreements, and we are ready for more reality and honesty.

Therefore I’ve decided to be more honest. For those relationships that can handle the honesty, I think it’s going to allow for tremendous growth. In those relationships that can’t handle it, I’m determined to improve the relationship to the point where it can.

Honesty has got to be the only policy.

I’m curious… when was the last time you were honest with someone you loved? What reaction did you receive?