The Fight of My Life

I wrote this short article for our G42 newsletter, the topic of the issue this quarter was “Trust”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

These past 12 months have been the toughest of my life.

After the highs of moving to a new country, and talking to hundreds about the vision of Global Adventure and the value of “The Church of the Kitchen Table,” it seemed like everything was falling apart. Promises gone undelivered, huge opportunities coming to nothing, closed doors in our faces—and most of this was from our “Brothers” in the church!

I waved my fist to God — “Why have you brought us here?!?”

 

fightofmylife

 

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3

On top of the year of disappointments, recently there was a span of about ten days where it felt like I could do nothing right. Every decision I made, wrong. The paths I chose, dead ends. The chances I took didn’t pan out. The limbs I stepped out on, all broke under my weight. Murphy’s Law was in full effect: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

I rubbed the tears of frustration from my eyes, the dust from my shoulders, and sucked the blood from my raw knuckles. I had nowhere to turn. I had to make some drastic changes.

The next Sunday was a rarity in England: sunshine. The girls were out with friends and Bec took Ben to a play date, so I had the sunshine to myself. I poured a cup of coffee, grabbed my Bible held together with duct tape, and got outside. I opened to Psalm 22. You know, the one that starts with “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?!” It was exactly the cry of my soul.

But of course it’s followed by Psalm 23: “… even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

I kept reading… Psalm 24. “…lift up your heads, you gates, be lifted up, you ancient doors… Who is this King of Glory? — The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle.”

It was getting good now. I read on to Psalm 25: “In you, Lord my God, I put my trust… do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. … Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

Wow. Thank goodness for that well-worn path back to the Tree of Life. My junk is not all fixed, but boy did that smack me out of it. The sun burned brighter. My future seemed secure, if not clear—but at least secure. I had my wife, my kids, and those men I could turn to when life seemed the worst. I just simply needed to trust Him.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

  • Fred

    A few thoughts.

    Firstly: God tests us and this is a baked in part of the deal – it permeates old and new testaments. Whilst you are in that part of Psalms take a glance at Psalm26:2 where David even INVITES God to test him!

    Secondly: the trials and tests that God allows to come our way are rarely, if ever, a punishment. In John 15:1-8 that pruning can occur whether the branch is fruitful or not. Even prosperity is a spiritual test as in Ecclesiates 2:1.

    Thirdly: scriptures show us that God has the right to test us but we do not have the right to test him e.g. Matthew 4:7.

    We do rather like our “capuccino Christianity” lifestyles but God has other ideas, and, on occasion, God can stretch us to breaking point and then some.

  • I know this, but it doesn’t make it any easier! :^) Thanks for the encouragement though; I realized long ago that it would be so much easier to be able to live a “normal” life… but we’ve put ourselves on the front lines. Again, thanks Fred! I’m still working it all out…