This blog is the conclusion of my series on initiation. You can start the series here: Boys Need An Initiation.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this series and been challenged by it. I have. With a 3-year old son, I realize that the lessons I am teaching him now set the foundation for his development in the years to come.
For this post, I want to get up on my soapbox for a minute. Even though initiation is necessary and critical for our children to grow up as responsible and disciplined adults, I think the fact remains:
You still won’t do it.
It’s too hard, it’s too painful, it will take too much time and concerted effort, and maybe you think modern-day efforts at initiation are hokey. But I promise you the results will be worth the sweat and tears, and your children will thank you for it in the end.
Photo Credit: kwamie
A Challenge to Fathers1
Maybe you think I am generalizing and just trying to evoke a reaction. But I don’t think I am. The unfortunate reality is that I have met boys and young men who have been deprived of an initiation experience in their life, and they are worse off for it.
So, fathers, I recommend this:
Give your children everything they need. Do not give your children everything they want.
Take your son into the wilderness. Teach him how to make a fire. Teach him how to change a tire. Teach him how to treat a woman and how to respect adults. Teach him to listen more than he speaks. Teach him he is not the center of the universe. Teach him to fight for something that is worth fighting for.
A Challenge to “Guys”2
If you see yourself in the category of missed initiation, I urge you to seek out a father: either your biological father, a trusted mentor, or a spiritual father who will lead you through an initiation.
The goal here is to cross into adulthood: to live a life with purpose, to bring life to others, and stop living a self-centered life. If you need someone to lead you through that and feel that you have no one, contact me.
So any takers for this challenge? I’d love to hear from you. Or maybe you want to tell me I’m full of it.
1. While I am mainly focusing on fathers and sons, the concepts behind initiation (serving others, respect, learning, honoring, discipline) is obviously equally important to be taught to daughters.
2. Mark Driscoll has a great video on the phenomenon of “guys” who are stuck in adolescence and refuse to grow up. You can watch it here.