Honesty When It Hurts

I was preparing to write a blog post about being a “real man” this past weekend… I went up the mountain and chopped some wood. Woo Hoo.

But as I sat down to write, I couldn’t write it. My mind kept calling “BS.” It wouldn’t let me get away with it. So I am going to allow a peek behind the curtain, kick myself for being so arrogant in 2011, and introduce you to my theme for 2012:


So, let’s start out by explaining my “Real Man” activity. Yes, I was chopping some wood for our fireplace, a chore that needed to get done–but what I was really doing was escaping.

Escaping a Sunday morning in a house full of frustration and shouting.

I replaced A Man’s Duty with a false Manly chore. I thought I would get dirty, do some physical activity, and feel like a Real Man by chopping some wood. But in essence I left my home, my responsibility, my family, when they needed me.

I should have stuck around. Improved the situation. Helped. Loved.

So I have that off my chest. Starting 2012 with some honesty. My life isn’t perfect. I am doing my best.

I’ve written before about my quest for real, raw honesty… but now I’m devoting a whole year to it. Let’s see if I have any friends left by 2013.

But really, I’ve got to be honest with those around me. I’ve got a voice and I’m going to use it. And I’m going to be more honest on this blog… because sometimes I write from the point of view of someone who’s got it all together. And the truth is, I don’t. Usually, if I’m writing something, it’s because I just learned it or it’s an ideal that I’m striving for.

Not because I’m some expert on it. Because I’m not. I’m just a guy who wants to use his passions to serve others.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have some honest feedback for me? Do you read this blog and think, boy I wish I could tell this guy that ….

  • Evan

    Not much to add to that one. Honesty is where respect is born. And I respect the crap outta you, bro!

  • Les Tomlinson

    Dave, i love this post…An example all men should have for their household!  The power of the Holy Spirits conviction is what brought the true honestly to a place where you were able to share…This is a true example of a Leader and one that strives to be right before God and Man…Luke 2:52 – Jesus grew in stature before God and and then men…all about priorities!!!

    Thanks for the blog, Brother!

  • Thanks Evan.  And your comment deserves a repeat: “Honesty is where respect is born”  It’s my pledge this year and I have a hunch it’s going to improve my writing!

  • Thanks Les.  Glad you’re reading.  I love Luke 2:52–I pray it over my kids often!

  • Ms. Patti

    Love this Dave Hearn.  This IS the heart of a REAL MAN!  This is also RARE in the body of Christ.  Non Christians do a much better job at  this than Christians.   So many Christians are not honest and do not keep their word.  My generation and the generations before me have done a crappy job of this!  Praying your generation and the generations after you will do better!  You do have a voice!  USE IT MY FRIEND!  Love you much!

  • I can relate to your struggle Dave! It’s easier to do things than face them.

    Honestly, as a new reader I don’t have any feedback to give you but I do look forward to more of your content.

  • Bruce

    Dave, Great blog! 2012 should be a year of more honesty for all of us. I am so looking forward to your visit in Sept. I hope it works out for Evan to join us also. He was here this weekend and we got to hear Andrew speak at Kingdom Dreams. I think more than 20 world changers signed up to come to G42 this year.

  • Thanks Bruce.  I agree.  I’m glad you got to hear Andrew, he’s a great man with a great message.  We’re looking forward to an amazing year at G42.

  • I’m glad to see I’m not the only one ;^)   I’m glad you like the post… I would seriously take any blogging feedback you have for me!  Thanks for reading.

  • Thanks.  Honesty is better for me and better for those I wish to lead…

  • Anonymous


    honesty – like your post suggests a good place to start is often with ourselves.

    recently i have found real growth in immediate honesty with those closest to me. For example if i i’m struggling or had a bad day, i’ve found it better to commnicate that to my wife straight away rather than responding with a negative comment later.

    At work, what stops me being honest is more often other peoples opinions, and valueing them too highly!

    So, i’m with you in devoting the year to honesty…..

  • Wow, that’s pretty insightful. Fleeing a man’s responsibility by doing a manly chore. I never thought about it like that. That’s something that’s got me thinking.

  • Thanks Ben… keep me updated on how your year goes.  Thanks for your additional points too–good ideas to think about and implement!

  • Lkfischer

    I am always impressed with your posts.  You have provided me with insight to be a better man, husband, father, & employee.   Thanks for your honesty!